Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
-Marianne Williamson-
WHO DO YOU THINK YOUR ARE?
I ordered an EKG.
I refused to give a drug that was ordered incorrectly.
I secured a blood filled and traumatic airway safely and with skill.
I practiced clinically excellent anesthesia as a female.
After doing these things, whether implicitly or explicitly, I was asked the same thing as an ER nurse and then as a CRNA: "Who do you think you are?!"
Who? Do? You? Think? You? Are?
In the current Mooxli bookclub book, “Soundtracks,” Jon Acuff talks about the made up mental pocket jury of naysayers we create in our heads and then have to address when stepping out and doing something brave in our life. He talks about using truth and action to silence the pocket jury.
I was out walking and listening to his audio book when I realized, for me and I know for so many others in healthcare, the pocket jury isn’t a made up mental panel of naysayers. The pocket jury is a living breathing person, tribe, and culture in so many of our work environments.
When I am trying to silence the “Who do you think you Are’ers,” they aren’t always the voices in my head. They are real people and real workplace cultures from real professional experiences.
I am done apologizing for who I am and what I call the “Three square feet of emotional boundaries and space,” that are mine no matter the professional environment or challenge.
Who do I think I am? I think that I am a brave, highly educated, highly skilled woman who knows what I am doing, does it well, and knows when to ask for help. And, I think that you reading this are too.
Who do we think we are? We are the Mooxli community of wholehearted healthcare professionals and we know exactly who we are, and what we are doing. And for us, that is more than enough.
If you want to lean into this a bit more, write a letter to the real or imagined jurors in your life. Tell them your full heart on fire truth. How would you move through life differently if you lived this truth?